I'm TIRED!

Have you ever gotten TIRED of Something?

I mean just Worn out doing something over and Over as if you are butting your head against a stone wall 20 feet thick?

I'm not talking about work and the dull routine some of us get (or in my case "got") locked into on a regular basis,  I'm referring to Life feeling like it is constantly beating down on your shoulders like a drummer keeping a steady beat in a never ending piece of music or like a Jack hammer that just won't shut off.

I am talking about that feeling where as soon as Something goes your way and there is a glimmer of hope or light just around the bend and just as you get there Something, Anything, jumps up and Bites you in the ASS!

I'm TIRED of it!!!!

I've Bitched at my Wife about My Luck.
I've Bitched at my Parents and In-Laws about My Luck.
I've even Bitched at God about My Luck!

Wife can't do anything about it she is locked into it with me.
Parents and In-Laws can only commiserate with me about it,

God, Well, Sometimes I wonder....... They say he only test you as far as you can go and then is there to help and handle it.  Why allow a broken record to keep repeating itself?  What Lesson are you trying to Teach?  If I haven't figured it out by now Damn it!  Give me a Freaking Hint already!

I've Lived with my Crappy Assed Luck my whole life but I sure as Hell Don't want it rubbing off on my Family!

If you can't tell, today is a Monster Rant, Bitch session, tantrum, whatever you want to call it.  I'm Freaking PISSED!!!!!!

No person caused this.

......... Yeah, One Person caused this........ Me!  I Did!!!!

My Luck has shown its Ugly face again and as always its not Good.
Should have known it.  Should have Expected it!
When something Good comes my way it is almost (Never Fails) Always Followed with a Slap in the ASS and No, it is not the good kind of Slap in the Ass.

Christmas was Good, Unexpectedly Good, as something came our way that made it much better than we had hoped for.  Things Looking Good and, well, not Great but GOOD enough that there was breathing room.  Deep Down I was Expecting it (My Luck).  Deep Down I was Hoping, Praying it would Pass me (Us) bye this time.

NOT!

J and I went to my Dr. Yesterday.
Health wise, all is as good as can be expected.  My O2 Sat. (Oxygen Saturation {Oxygen in blood}) is/was 85%, not bad but the Number should be about 95% or above.  Expected that,  Part of my Life now.

The Office visit went Well enough and had a good conversation with the Dr.  Got my New Prescriptions and scheduled my next appointment (He, Dr., wants once a month but financially I got him to understand once Every 3 Months).

Went to go drop off the prescriptions,
That is when the Breathing Room I mentioned became a Plastic Bag over Our Heads!
$300.00

300.00 Freaking F#$%ing Dollars.
New Year, New Insurance, New Damn Freaking Deductible!!!!!!!

What's Weird is that I am not really Pissed about the Money.

The Timing!

Three months from now it would make us Tight, but Now!?!?!?!?  Feels like a Ship with 20 holes in it and you only have 15 Plugs to fill them with!

I am TIRED!
TIRED of this kind of Luck happening to me and mine Every single time.
TIRED of Hearing my Wife say she "Isn't doing enough." when I see her killing herself to keep the Ship afloat.
TIRED of Hoping a Miracle can Happen again and Again.  (You can only dip in that well so many times before it goes dry!)

You know who is to Blame?

ME!

I am the one that Smoked for 20+ years.  I'm the one that did it.
Nobody but Me!
Me and my Damn LUCK!

Depression - it is a Gorilla and I have the feeling I am looking at a 1400lb Silver Back right in the Eyes.
Boy is he UGLY.

But...

One thing I know, There are Others out there Worse off than I am.  It's a Given.  I have No Doubt about that.
Therefore, I am not Allowing That S.O.B. to jump on my Back.
"Been there, Done That!", It ain't happening again.

Somehow, Someway, we will get past this.  I don't know how, but we Will.  Just TIRED of being HERE so Damn often.

God,
Give Her a Break.  The Look in her eyes says it all (she won't say it, but I See IT) and I need help Helping her.  I already breath bad enough, she doesn't need to suffocate with me.

Sorry for the RANT today.

One thing you have to remember here is that this is Anything at Anytime and from time to time Rants may just be a part of what you get.

We all have 'em.
Just I will write about mine from time to time.

For those of you that might be worried, Don't.
This is part of why I do this Blog.

How Did They Pass the Driving Test?

A couple of quick things before hitting today's post topic here at Anything at Anytime:

So far have only had two Votes/suggestions on the Costume for Sunday/Halloween.  If we don't get more that leaves the choice up to my Wife and Daughters.  So if you want your choice to be the one -  drive people over here to Anything at Anytime to Vote!

Next, it is getting to be that time of year so please if it is getting colder in your area take care of yourself and family and make sure they bundle up and get all shots prior to the flu season hitting you and yours.

Today's post will be relatively short unless this Rant really Rolls.  I will try and get it to be Brief!

How Did They Pass the Driving Test?

Today, I had to go pick up J early at school to take her to the clinic because she has not been feeling very good. The early Bug has jumped on her and she is just RUN Down and just plain UGHHHHHH.  The same time I had to pick up the girls early because today is PTC (Parent Teacher Conferences) at their school and so I had a car load of family.

Anyway, as I was returning J and the Girls to J's school (after dropping off the prescriptions for her), I am driving along and this Driving Idiot in the right hand lane (I was in the middle lane) decides he wants to be in my lane.

No Blinker, No hand signal, just starts moving over into my lane.  Under normal circumstances that wouldn't be THAT BAD (bad enough) but I, my front end, was at about the back third of his Pick-up.  So I slam on my Brakes and Lay on the HORN.  Son of a Bitch stays half way across both lanes and is pointing and Laughing at me in his side mirror.

First thing, Had I not had J and the Girls in the Car, I would have stayed where I was and let the SOB hit me!!!!  Then let him explain it to the Cops when they got there.  As I had precious cargo in the Car I couldn't let that Happen.  Then as I move into the Right hand lane to get past him and get the Girls back to school, he swerves like he is going to ram me in the other lane, laughing the whole time.
For those of you that "KNOW" me, that is about the time I wanted to pull over and Kick the Snot out of the little SHIT!  Again with J and the Girls in the Car, No CAN DO!!!!!  ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH

I think most if not all of you can imagine some of the things coming out of my mouth at the time and not all of it was RABID FOAM.

Next,  I couldn't call the Police then as it is now illegal to use a cell phone in El Paso that is not hands free.  So when I got home I called the Police Dept. to report Wreckless Driving, and Failure to signal as I have the SHITS plate and make and model of his Truck.

I got told they could do nothing about it as it was my word against his.

Now, if that had been me doing that, there would have been a Cop right there that saw it and would have pulled me over and written me a citation if not Hauled my Ass in for the show of the swerve.

Since the Cops won't/can't do ANYTHING as it is my Word against his.......... I can do this in the hopes that when he goes to renew his Insurance and they run a search for his license plate on the Internet they find this and Read why his plate and make are Posted on a Blog.

Maybe, Just Maybe it might make them Think about insuring a kid that is willing to drive and act like that on Our Roads.

So, if you are Ever in West Texas, New Mexico or General area and see a WHITE CHEVY SILVERADO with TEXAS PLATES -  ATO 2421 ------
Be Careful the DRIVER IS WRECKLESS and an ENDANGERMENT to others on the ROAD.

Now, How did a kid like this pass the Drivers Test - Written or Driving?

Sorry for the Rant today but to have the Police say they could do NOTHING as it is my Word against his!

Well, I can do something.  It may not do much but maybe someone somewhere will see this and it might just take money out of his Pocket for higher insurance rates?

I Can only Hope.

Aside from the Rant I hope all of you have had a GOOD Week and Please VOTE for the Halloween Costume in the Previous Post.

Insurance Rant and me

I have been finding it hard to focus on a topic.  Last night and this morning I have sat in front of this screen looking and wondering what I might right about but it stays blank.

Not fair to you that read me regularly and not fair to me.

It is not like I don't still have plenty running around in this head of mine, it is just that I can not focus on them.

I will get on this rant about insurances.  Not just our insurance but all insurances that I have had over the last 10-15 years.

Over the last 10 -15 years I have had several insurances due to changing jobs or the jobs changing our insurance carriers.  The Problem I have here is that I have tried to stop this before but each time I have gotten a Dr to give me a prescription for the newest and best drugs to "help" me Quit, Insurance will deny any claim for them to pay for the drugs as it is an "Elective Drug".

The Insurance Companies would sooner Pay for all the Cancer and Emphysema and other Lung Problems than pay out for Medication that would help all of us that Want to Quit and Lengthen our Lives.

What the Hell are they thinking?

What "Bean Counter" are they listening to that tells them it is cheaper not to pay for the drugs.  It will be cheaper paying for the Oxygen equipment, possible surgeries,  All the X-rays, MRIs, etc. etc.........

Government Insurance sure as Hell isn't the answer either. But that is for another day.

Getting all the Insurances to understand that they would save money by letting the People get the drugs the Doctors prescribe for them in order to help quit something or to ease them through something.  Rather than We can't do this or We can't do that because, Well Just Because.

Then you have to fight most of them to pay their share and get it all taken care of.  Jump this hoop then jump that one and the next one and then we might be able to do something for you.

Insurance rates go up and up and pay out less and less.  Our Government should not have added this mandatory Insurance but should have Put together an oversight like the FDA, FAA, or OSHA (those are just a few off of the top of my head.

With oversight from a government stand point you might see less BS making claims and getting access to drugs that could really do people a difference.

I have tried off and on over the last 15 years to Quit.  I was never able to afford the drugs to get started $400.00 out of pocket, at the time that was a car payment and part of our rent.  And we all know how those two would have reacted if I said "Oh, I needed my meds last month can you wait Please?"  Yeah, right.

If I had been able to get the meds back then - maybe it would have helped - maybe not.  It would have given me  a much better shot and not sitting here now wondering............

Don't think I hold the insurances Companies all at fault.  I Don't.  I am the one that did this to myself for so long.  I made the choice.  I can honestly say I have done plenty of other things that could have been as addictive or "troublesome" as cigarettes but those were easy to stop.  I have found the hardest Damn thing to quit has been cigarettes.

You know whats so bad about that -  I know they are what is killing me -  That is why I am on three heavy duty Anti-Deps. to keep me "mellowed out" for awhile.

Now again while I am in this state -- Come on folks feed me some ideas you would like me to "Focus" on?

P.S.  Put pressure on you insurance companies to start paying for this kind of stuff for smokers.  In the long run it could save you all money because the insurance companies will not be paying out as much as they do when it is to late.

Understanding.......... INSURANCE?!?

Today was call my oxygen provider company to make payment arrangements day.

Our bill was getting weird and my wife and I couldn't figure it out. So I told her I would call them and see what was going on with the bill and to make arrangements to pay and make Everyone (but our pockets) happy.

The Lady I talked to was a little bit older and was very helpful trying to explain it to me. She and I both got mildly frustrated with the situation - not with each other but the situation and trying to figure out the math.

Now, I am pretty good at math. Not a math wiz or anything like that but having a few hours under my belt for a physics with a minor in mathematics degree, I think I can follow most math.

Who the Hell thought up all these damn formulas for insurance and how much who owes what and what owes who and why that cost this and not that and you can only have one of those otherwise the cost will be 7 times the cost divided by the 31st figure in the 14th dynasty's 3rd reign.........
HUH????????????

and if that one doesn't explain it -

Well, sir I truly don't know why the insurance says you owe that much more, remember I work for the oxygen company (which is true and I told her so).  She then goes on to say something like : You think that is bad,  this is the rules as the insurance sets them down before us and we are the ones they are supposed to pay:  You being the Recievee and We  the payer and your patient/our customer the object in question will all interact thusly,  The Recievee will provide services to the patient/our customer and bill them 10 times the going rate at which point we the insurance shall tell you the Recievee that you are over billing us the Payer by 7 times the amount that it should be then we will tell the patient/our customer to pay you 4 times the actual worth of the product for the next 6 months.  Then and only then will we the Payer pay the Recievee whatever the patient/our customer hasn't which will be the total of 80 % of the total after subtracting their 20 % minus the additional fees that were added minus the sum total of over payments by cents Plus the sub-total minus the fraction of the overcharge and by the time it is done We the Payer Will Pay you the Recievee $0.01 while your patient/our customer pays you $2800.00 and our customer will continue to pay us the family coverage total of roughly $500.00 per month with an individual deductible of $1500.00 and $3000.00 for the family. 

DUH!?!?!?

So rather than make matters totally Discombobulated with the Nice Old Lady, I said: "Ma'am, thank you for trying to explain it to me but I don't think we have figured it out yet.  I will talk to the wife and we will pay you $---.-- and that should put us all right for now until I can get this straightened out with Insurance."

Her response: "Mr. Wins2007, Thank You that will be fine for now.  And Sir?"  "Yes?" I said.

"Good Luck!"