A Campaign Against Underage Sex

As a Father I aim to keep this site so that my daughters can read it anytime they want.  Anything and everything I put on this site is aimed to be readable by just about everyone.  At worst my site might get PG-13 or a very low R (on occasion), but to date I may have "brushed" a PG-13.

So Anything at Anytime strikes Again with something totally different from the previous day.

If you have read yesterday's post you know I have read and read Sun-tzu's The Art of War.  The one thing that I think is the most profound and True statement in the book (as I commented yesterday) is:
     Know Yourself and Know Your enemy and You will be Victorious!
     (Paraphrased from a paraphrase but still the same meaning.)
I am a man and used to be a young man sooooooooo...... Know yourself and Know your enemy.

Well, I am a Father of two budding, Beautiful young women.  My Oldest is taking that special interest in her own LOOKS because she wants to look Good for the guys (boys). 
(Dad, uh... Me, has a Problem with this! So I have a 3 Phase Plan!)

PHASE ONE

My Wife and I have had many "Talks" with the girls (young women), enough so that we feel that if that point comes then they have enough to make a "Wise" decision. 

I have gone so far as to make sure my daughters will, or can if they choose or must, be an over aggressive boys Worst Nightmare!

Those "Talks" of ..... If he does this.... You do this..... If he does This..... You do This..... And IF He Does THIS..... YOU DO THIS!!!!!!........ And THEN I WILL DO THIS!!!!!!!
(Again, I am Keeping this clean so that all can read it.  If you are a Parent or Sexually Active you already have an Idea what this, This and THIS is on the boys part.  As for what I have instructed the girls -- well, that will stay a secret for now, suffice it to say if a girl had done that to me.......I might have gone crying to Mommy and Daddy.)

PHASE TWO

Now, this is Just Mean..... I know!  But Man, it is (hopefully will be) ONE Hell of a Deterrent!

We all know how we got here, at least those of us old enough to have DONE IT!

Now, imagine you are getting ready to DO IT!  Just as you are starting the flash across your minds eye (your imagination) is that of YOUR MOM AND DAD DOING IT!!!!

Cold as a fish, Limp as a cooked noodle in the blink of an eye isn't it?

We all know the "hows" and the "whys" and that they are what got us here but really........ Thinking bout OUR Parents DOING IT!!!! 
I don't know about you...... but TURN OFF for me!!!!!!!  (Nothing against you Mom and Dad if you read this..... Just not My Cup of Tea!)

So, I (as a mean, cruel, insidious Dad) have begun the subliminal building of said image in my daughters' minds. 
When a scene comes on in a movie or TV show that has a couple starting to DO IT!  I will make a comment to my wife, something like... "Remember when we did that before you got Pregnant with "D"?" or something like "We tried that just before you had "E", remember?"  It always gets that "UGH...." winced eye reaction from them both.

My Oldest even went so far as to ask my why I did that once.  I told her the Truth.  "I want you to think of us when you decide to DO IT! and of what we got when we DID IT!" 
Her Response:  "OH, GOD - THANKS ALOT DAD!" in the most sarcastic voice I have heard since Army Basic Training.  A Drill Sargent could not have done it better.

PHASE THREE

This part came to me in a mysterious e-mail right after my Oldest was born:

50 rules to Dating MY Daughter!

I have since lost the original but before it was lost I condensed it down to a few simple rules for the boys. 
I have already told my daughters that any boy that wants to date them will have to come into the house, read these rules and sign a copy saying that they have read and understand said rules.
(They are already Cringing with this one.)

1.  First and Foremost above all others!

     You make my Daughter Cry.......... I Make You Cry!
            If you are a Father of a Daughter you know the worst thing is to have your Daughter Cry.
            We let ourselves become wrapped around their pinkies just because.......
            Nobody hurts our little girls without feeling the PAIN.

2.  You DO NOT Honk for her to come out.  You Get your ASS out of the car and come to the Door!
            My Daughter(s) are young women, not your buddies on the other side of the football field.
            This is a sign of Respect for Her and My Home.

3.  Always remember these things: 

I have a shovel!

I have a lot of Land!

And Most Importantly

I HAVE A SHOTGUN!!!!!!!

So these are my PHASES Against Underage Sex.

Am I missing anything?